Race 1 - Day 27
Crew Diary - Race 1 Day 27: Liverpool to Punta del Este
16 September
Ahoy there, avid readers, welcome back to the crazy world of PSP Logistics and our version of the Wacky Races.
After a few days of heavy seas and numerous drenchings, finally the wind has swung behind us, the sun has come out, the spinnaker is back up, the music is on and PSP Logistics is gearing up for the final push.
So what are today's hot topics? This may have had a previous mention; however, one of the main talking points at the moment is 'Yachty Botty', aka the grown-up's nappy rash. Just take liberal soakings of your foulies, a suitable chafing surface (such as the deck of The Mighty PSP), leave to fester for a few days and bingo: a raw, sore backside. Everybody succumbs, nobody's immune. What is the cure? Sudocrem appears to be the cream of choice. Pots of the stuff abound as everyone tries to relieve their symptoms, However, James Hetheron, drawing on his experience as a race horse trainer, has just pulled out a huge tub of Battles Udder Cream. Apparently it works a treat on thoroughbreds and he suggests it should be applied liberally to everyone's hindquarters. We will let you try it first James...
On a different note, a new clothing accessory has started appearing over the last few days. Hyde Sails will be pleased to know that they are the new sponsor of a new belt range, fashioned from their sail ties. This is a result of the Clipper Race weight loss programme. Previously tight-fitting shorts seem now to be slithering southwards, as waistlines disappear and love handles are replaced by six packs. Well, maybe that is stretching the point too far! Anyway, after several weeks in the sweat box below we are becoming shadows of our former selves. So, any chubsters out there looking to lose some weight, get yourselves signed up to the next Leg. I promise you will not be disappointed.
And onto the business of gentleman grooming, or rather lack of it. Of the 16 males onboard, only 4 have managed to continue shaving. So there is a lot of facial hair to be seen and hirsuteness is the order of the day. Now some beards have turned out immaculately, such as Holger Menzel's. (In fact he has already been presented with a small pot of Moustache Waxing Cream from Roy). Most, however, it would be fair to say, tend toward straggledom of varying degrees. I wonder what those in the wives department will make of them?
(On this topic, it should be noted that there is one who still insists on a wet shave, blades and all. This seems to be verging on the reckless in the light of the below deck conditions. But he is determined that some standards must be upheld. Who might this foolhardy fellow be, I wonder?)
Anyway, it's time to wrap up.
Our fierce adversaries, GREAT Britain and Qingdao are planning another twin pronged attack and The Mighty PSP must do everything it can to repel them and protect its current position.
Come on fine steed, away with you and fly into the night!
Until next time.
Yours,
Nigel Holcombe, ably assisted by Holly Thrower.