Race 1 - Day 25
Crew Diary - Race 1 Day 25: Liverpool to Punta del Este
14 September

Well, it's me again! Sorry, but after the day I had yesterday some therapeutic ranting is necessary. Don’t worry, the sensitive amongst you can rest assured I will refrain from making reference to any afflictions of the nether regions… I feel we have bottomed that issue out!

Mother Watch. Ocean Sprint. Two terms which I came to realise should not be uttered within the same sentence. Those blog watchers of you will know that Nicola made mention of a particularly harrowing Mother Watch yesterday and that Sophie and myself were just lucky enough to be rostered on for that day. I was always going to be doing it but Sophie really lucked out because my normal partner, Clive, was one of the designated Helmers through the Ocean Sprint (only the best ones, go Clive!) so Sophie very kindly offered to sub in, a decision she came to regret.

Let's take a quick snap shot of the actual conditions without the added extras. A small oblong shaped ice rink, at an acute angle ranging from 30 – 45 degrees, a kitchen gadget at one end at which third degree burns are only a triple salco away and wooden counters at pelvic height for maximum impact but against which one must wedge oneself to be able to conjure up 23 meals of gastronomic delight, 3 times in a 24-hour period. Joy.

So, the scene set, lets add some extra ingredients into our menu. The angle of heel always acute, resulting in flying chopped onion. I had chopped a large number of onions, with an audience, that doubled as quality control by eating chunks as I went along, thanks Glenn, as he was on the low side, he was the recipient of most of it when the boat lifted out the water and slammed back down. Oh look Glenn, you're wearing everything you didn't eat, Lady GAGA missed a trick there - onion couture wouldn't suit many but Glenn pulled it off with panache. Oh yes, and then ate it.

I made three loaves of bread, which was good because we needed something to soak up the tsunami of sea water that came through the galley hatch just after they came out of the oven and were cooling on the side. The dried mushrooms soaking in the boiling water on the burns unit, sorry stove, decided that if it was good enough for the onions then it was good enough for them and launched themselves into mid-air and then, yes, over the floor, slimy mushrooms on the ice rink work just like one of those machines that come and go over the surface to make it more... slippery...

During all of this, a number of wet sails and sail bags were dragged through the area, large quantities of water would periodically come down the companion way hatch (the stairs), at least every member of the crew asked to have their water bottles refilled three times, and every movement were magnified and enhanced.

Nicola seems to think that Sophie and I smiled our way graciously through our ' The Chuckle Brothers headline Barnum & Baily moment, however, appearances can be deceptive and hysteria and homicidal tendencies were never more than a fleeting thought away.

Extra helpings anyone??

Jen & Sophie