Race 1 - Day 30
Skipper Report
19 September

Andy Burns
Andy Burns
Team GREAT Britain
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As we are so close to the finish and the competition is hot, I am not going to sit here and tell you about our tactics plans and hopes for the next 48 hours. What I will do is introduce our next simulation in our series for preparing for life onboard an Ocean Racing Yacht: The Personal Hygiene and Toileting simulation.


You will need:

Massive strength and stamina
A wipe-clean floor
A dramatic reduction in personal hygiene standards

Aim to complete your regular hygiene and toileting regime whilst in the one-handed 'plank' or press-up position. Given sufficient strength, practice and persistence even the most ornate make up or designer stubble can be achieved with just one hand. For those less willing to do the hard yards, you may consider switching from your regular regime to a simplified routine; it is possible to achieve a (barely) socially acceptable level of hygiene through the use of wet wipes alone. Your family, friends and colleagues will hardly notice and think of the saving on your water bill. If you are lucky enough to live in a coastal area, arrange for passers-by to randomly throw buckets of sea water at you as you go about your business; you'll really appreciate the freshness this brings! You will also find that clothing needs changing far less frequently than fashion retailers and basic human decency would have you believe; with a following wind and regular turning inside-out, a pair of good quality underpants can be extended to last a month, socks two months and shirts/blouses up to a year. Start this regime at home and see how much you save!

All crew are well. In good spirits and working hard to complete our race and time at sea.

I hope to write more tomorrow, or on our final day, talking more about the last few days, our tactics and updates on our two watches, Union and Jack, and Operation Spitfire which is due to commence in port.

Love from Andy and the GREAT Britain Team