‘ello folks,
NEWS FLASH ON HA LONG BAY, VIET NAM... Skipper blocks heads! The rule on board is, if you block it, you unblock it! And I do like to lead by example. Well, this is not how I imagined my morning! Now to any one who is not au fait with toilets on a boat (heads), I will try my best to explain, but this may be better done on a popular video streaming site. Heads are not like land heads, we don't have the luxury of the famous Thomas Crapper design that you all know and have come to love.
We have a pump to the side of the bowl which moves about 1 foot up and down with a little switch next to it with two options; option one as you pump, water enters the bowl and water/waste exits the bowl; and option two, water/waste exits the bowl followed by air pressure. Now, a quick golden rule that will help you get though boat life, if you are on option two and the pumping starts to have resistance...STOP PUMPING! You can cause the unit to gather a back pressure and it will only end up coming back up through the bowl at high velocity covering yourself and the heads in the contents you were trying to disregard.
I have seen this happen, it's not a pretty sight nor is it hygienic (you can stop wincing - I avoided this problem). I awoke a little on the wrong side of the bed, had my morning coffee etc and all was working like clockwork, then stepped up to the porcelain throne and did the deed (and felt much better for it), and continued to pump the heads. Now, as we are sailing upwind, the boat is on a heal of around 30 degrees so you can completely fill the bowl. So I attempted to start pumping out the contents and I kept pumping and pumping, and, well, pumping, but nothing was flushing. So, I brave switching back to option one to see if a valve has not turned. I'm very careful to not overfill the bowl though. I start with option two again and a load of bubbles come floating out the U-bend causing the contents to break down and mix up leaving me with a Coca-Cola coloured water and a little spilled. But 'undeterred', I keep pumping with option two, but still nothing so I repeat the last, unfortunately causing the water level to keep rising, and then the second worst thing happened... a gust!
The boat all of a sudden really starts to heal and I’m left standing in a puddle of my own excrement, quite possibly someone else's as well. Cursing myself under my breath, I give a shout to Mother Watch and ask for the heads cleaning kit! I end up scooping the contents into a paper bag and bleaching the entire heads (and Crocs), so this was my morning!
Well, I must go. I had another good day speed-wise and Wangy has done us a sweepstake for getting to Punta del Este. Also Hugo did a rig check at lunchtime. Sorry if you're reading this over your lunch break, hope all is well back home.
Josh and the crew of Ha Long Bay, Viet Nam
P.S: It's Hugo, it's the middle of the night as I'm reading this. We just sailed past the finish gate of the Dell Latitude Rugged Ocean Sprint and I have to take a picture of our crossing time. I really hope you are not reading this for lunch, or breakfast, or any meal time. On the plus side, now you know how not to use a boat toilet (head)...