Many a time I’ve sat at this typeface, bedraggled, bruised, soaking, and gaunt with sleep deprivation. I’ve often wondered how it’d feel to be staring at this screen for the last time and what that would be like. I’ve wondered how it would feel to be released from doing that final headsail change in the freezing cold of night, fixing the steering in the hostile conditions of the lazarette, or being flung like an ear of corn in a hurricane as I ascend the mast to unwrap a kite.
I’ll hasten you to excuse my melodramatic hyperbolism as I liken finishing this race to meeting my maker. I have felt on this race, at times, as if I could not go on. As, if the end were tomorrow I would greet it with open arms and welcome my face into the tranquillity of its comfortable embrace. I have felt physically and mentally tested and my mental fortifications have been a few times breached with little or no light at the end of the tunnel.
However, much like a weary pensioner on their bed of final rest, I now have the fortunate capability of hindsight. This year I’ve crossed oceans multiple times, sung happy birthday in a Force 10, seen breaching humpback whales, coached extraordinary people to helm spinnakers in almost 40kts, seen the smile of a sick man as I brought him a hot chocolate, cooked Christmas dinner for my crew in the Roaring 40s, I’ve seen the joy and relief on my crew’s faces after a really hard kite drop, I’ve podiumed with both of my teams and all three of my Skippers and seen the joy and how much it meant to them, I’ve learned more about trimming and leadership than I thought I would and I’ve seen people’s kindness when myself and others have been ill or upset.
Amongst all of this, I’ve seen people at their best and their worst and vice versa with myself. It’s been an extraordinary experience on the whole. I think that’s why I liken it to life. Life’s full of the most incredible but also the hardest, most brutal of times but it’s how well you can look beyond the hardships and see how much good you’ve experienced that can make you realise its worth and why it’s worth persevering. Having said that, everyone needs a bit of peace and calm and it’s this, much like our weary pensioner friend but hopefully in a less final way, that I’m soon to enjoy.
Cheers for reading, this year. I hope you’ve garnered as much enjoyment from my ramblings as I’ve blossomed catharsis from writing them.
Hooroo cobbers,
Cam, Bob, and the Ha Long Bay, Viet Nam crew